Thursday, April 15, 2010

Mind and Fluency

I was having a little stuttery phase yesterday and felt a lot of fear. And then I read again Linda Rounds book. She talked about mind and how we are separate from our mind. And she pointed out it is important to run our minds rather than let mind to run us. So I tried it out and it worked. I noticed at that time that my beliefs were that I would stutter even if I talk one sentence. And my feeling was negative and that of frustration. And my tendency was to avoid speaking. So I thought about the times when I were fluent. Maybe times when I was in New York doing AIS therapy or when I gave my one particular toastmasters speech when I was extremely fluent. And then I shifted my focus on feeling to think about the moment when I felt great. Absolutely great. Maybe it was when i was enjoying dancing. And then I focused on that feeling for some time. And then I focused on the times when my intentions were to speak and not avoid at any costs. Putting all this focus brought a sudden shift in my emotions, attitude and mood. And then I happened to talk to someone for a minute because they asked me something. I was mostly fluent talking with them. I kept this memory of fluency and then answered a phone call from a friend and said hello thinking that I have been just fluent. And then I spoke with him keeping in mind that I said hello and first few words without stumbling. Like this, I kept on going. And then it was time for me to rehearse the presentation in front of my group. To my surprise, I was mostly fluent. And then I kept this memory, and rehearsed again and now I was even more fluent and confident. And then suddenly, I felt good about giving the presentation. Now my presentation is in 20 minutes and instead of feeling nervous, I'm feeling excited and thrilled.

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